In Other Words

One of my mother's oldest and dearest friends happened to be visiting her daughter in London at the same time I was getting poked and prodded and diagnosed in Lancaster. She shared two days from her journal (only two days!) with Mom. Recently, the photocopied, handwritten pages arrived at my house along with many other documents. It's good to see things from a different perspective. Outside looking in, instead of the other way around. Here's what Gail wrote:

2/27/90 - London

Jerri called and sobbed. The doctor says Robert probably has leukemia. What do you want me to do? Please go and hold him for me. So I called Dr. Lorigan at the Royal Lancaster Infirmary. He was very available once he ascertained that Jerri had already told me how ill Robert was. He said well, it's not certain, but if it's not leukemia then it's something just as bad.

I asked him how Robert was doing, and he said he's very stoic and also denying, but I don't know what's in the back of his head. So then I talked to Robert and he said I don't know how I managed to catch this blood disease, but it's left me wide open to catch anything that was going around the school, so I've got this bad cough.

I asked him if the antibiotics made him naseous and he said no, they're putting it through my veins very slowly so it doesn't tear them up.

So, I said, I'll probably be up tomorrow and he said you can stay in my school room. I'll tell you where I hide the key. Then we talked about his Christmas trip...

I thought a lot about it the next day -- sad and angry and disbelieving. The following morning I called Dr. Lorigan again and told hiim I had decided to wait a few hours to see if Jerri was coming to England or not because I thought she would probably need me at the airport, and the train to Lancaster, and would he please inform Robert I was still deciding. He said call back at half-one and our diagnosis will be certain.

It was leukemia for sure. I called Jerri -- she was leaving on the 708 TWA. Dr. Gorst the hematologist had arranged for someone to meet her at Heathrow but I asked her if I could meet [Jerri] there instead and go up with her. She said to just let Dr. Gorst know. So I will see [Jerri] in the morning. I feel very sad.